In case you were wondering.... We're still here *uhg!*

Play song, "Fix You" with this post

That is, we're still at the hospital, in case you haven't seen what's going on.

We have however, been moved out of the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) as of yesterday. But I never depicted the days we were there, so here's some highlights:

And I just have to let you know, we did not take our nice DSLR camera to the hospital, so I apologize for the quality of the pictures

First night in PICU, and I must admit, this is probably the worst picture I've ever taken of my daughter. Her entire upper airway was completely swollen and inflamed (thus the need for the C-Pap, which is what's on her) which also extended to her cheeks, and eyes almost swelling them shut.

She tolerated the C-Pap for a short while, the main reason I think was because she was beyond exhausted and too tired to fight it. However, the morning was another story- she pulled it off every chance she got, so they decided that while she was awake, it wasn't needed. But, every time she fell asleep, they had to put it back on and wake her up they did, and spittin mad she was! But, after a couple of days of steroid use and anti-inflammatory meds, the swelling had gone down considerably, so the C-Pap was no longer needed and she was put on a high-flow nasal cannula, then eventually, back to a regular cannula with about 2 liters of O2.

We had a few bright spots while were in the PICU, mostly coming from our wonderful Ch18 family. The first night we spent in the PICU was when the wonderful Jenny Howe came and brought with her the most darling gifts for Em and some treats, breath-mints (a must), reading material AND dinner from our favorite place Cafe Rio. She also stayed with Em while Steve and I ate our dinner since you're not allowed to eat in the PICU.

All the stuff Jenny brought, minus the Cafe Rio. And I have to tell you the jest of what the card said so that it makes sense. The blanket was for now, but the swimsuit is something for "when the days get brighter". So sweet of a reminder, that she (we) would make it through this :')


The next day, this was delivered

 This cute bear and "Get Well" balloon were courtesy of the Fisher family.  I cannot tell you what this did to turn the day around for us. When the gift shop girl brought it to the door asking if this is the room of Emarie Peters, Em looked at it and immediately stretched her arms out for it, and as soon as I brought it to her, she cracked what had to have been the first smile on her face in 4 days! It was priceless to see, and made me tear up.

We love the tight knit connections we have with our Ch18 families. And thanks again Howe and Fisher families for making our "dark" stay in the PICU just a little bit brighter :) We also received countless emails through the hospital from Ch18 families and their affiliates ;) as well as members of our ward. It's been amazingly comforting to know how many are praying for her and our family, some that don't even know her! Thanks to all of you! We've also had a few others stop by like my dad and one of my bestie's Ashley. As well as countless others that have offered to help anyway they can- bringing dinner, bringing us things from home (I politely declined this one, seeing as how we left our house after the horror movie, special effects ;) from the night we went to the hospital), taking our dog for us, and many, many other things! We seriously have the best friends and family in the world! Love you all!

Now like I said, we made our way off the PICU because Em was no longer vomiting (been 65 hours and counting now!) and didn't need the use of the C-Pap either (48 hours and counting!). And things haven't been all bad, we met some friends:

Meet Kelly and her adorable daughter B (isn't she cute??). Kelly and her husband happened upon our blog through a mutual friend of a mutual friend on Facebook (confusing huh?!). Anyway B and Em are having some similar reasons for being in the hospital, but you can read more about B on their blog.

But like I said, things are looking much better now!! Here's some more recent pictures of Em in much better spirits:

First three are still from the PICU, but it was the last day she was there because she was doing so much better

Finally sleeping comfortably

Love when she smiles, even if it's small and brief :)

Laying with mommy, we did this a lot to keep Miss Em calm after suctioning, IV changes etc. etc.

Daddy found this in the mail when he went home on Saturday. It came all the way from Michigan from another family in our Ch18 family circle, the Belangers. Seriously has been so heartwarming to know how much our girl is looked after by those that understand the best!


I took these today after Em's bath, and the first time I've done her hair in this whole ordeal

 Hair all lathered up with the "No Rinse" shampoo *great stuff*

 I'm all "girlied" up again!

Cutest bows, courtesy of Em's speech therapist :)

And now we're looking at possibly going home finally if we can get this stubborn girl to keep in her nasal cannula (for her oxygen) while she naps (that's the only time she needs it though- when she's sleeping. Can we say HOORAY?!)

And as for Steve and I- really it's amazing how long a person can go with little or no sleep... or food for that matter.... or sanity! Finally broke down and allowed myself to have a good cry on my drive home yesterday, and then again in the shower. I've only allowed myself to cry in front of others once while here, and that was when they told us they were going to have to take her to the PICU. Well... scratch that, I guess the two transport EMT's that took Em in the ambulance saw me break down as well... but yeah, sometimes you have to.

And then the bad....

Play song, "Fix You" with this post as well

Sometimes life just sucks... plain sucks. And sometimes, I just need to know it's ok to say that.

Things are not good with our sweet little Emarie right now. Actually, she's the sickest she's ever been. Sometimes it's even seemed like we're pulling scenes out of a gruesome horror movie. And I was wondering if some of it was even real. Granted, Steve and I did not get much sleep in a 48 hour period, so a lot of it was walking around in a daze.

I guess it all started Tuesday night with a little vomiting during her bedtime nebulizer treatment. Not entirely uncommon, but not desired. She went to bed and threw up several more times during the night. At this point, we still were not alarmed, because like I said, pretty typical of Em. But still enough to warrant a sick day. So, Steve took the first shift in the morning, and I went to work for awhile, then went and picked up some prescriptions that her ENT had called in (Robinol, because apparently the insurance will not pay for the botox injections), and went home so Steve could go to work. We tried what had worked the last time this happened, and that was to do a bowel cleanse of sorts. But, it did not stop the vomiting. And by 2 pm, that's when it got really bad. I was pretty sure she was throwing up blood, so I figured I better take her in to be seen. 

machine used to suction her when she vomited, yes that's what it
looked like

Emarie's pediatrician Dr. Bailey is one of the most fantastic people, I know I've gushed about him before, but I am just so glad he is our sweet girl's doctor. He was concerned, but didn't want to send her to the hospital in case there were any chance her surgery could still happen. So he just sent us for labs, and we took her home. But, that's when things got worse...

clothes she was wearing

                                                  way worse....

I've never seen anything like it before in real life. She was throwing up almost on the dot every 5 minutes, and it was a thick browny-bloody substance (sorry to gross you out). I wanted to call an ambulance, but Steve thought we'd be ok to drive her to Utah Valley which is only 5 minutes from our house. I had scary flashbacks the whole way there of when I took Steve for an anaphylactic reaction, and the trip took forever. More flashbacks when we got there and while taking her stats alarms were going off everywhere, and they took us straight back. 

Things did not look up at all while we were there. They took x-rays of her abdomen to check for obstructions, but none showed up. She was still not letting up on the vomiting, despite the several doses of zofran and another stronger drug that they were hesitant to give her at first (because it's made for adults), but ending up having to when they had no other choice. They had already made the decision at this point to do a transfer to Primary, regardless, the medication did not work. And I had to put my baby into an ambulance for the second time in her life. And the second time was so much harder than the first, I fell apart when I kissed her and said, "I love you" and could barely choke out the rest, "we'll be right behind you"

I sobbed for several minutes in the car, until I saw her

You can barely make her out in the picture (even though we could see her clear as day), but she's in the left window there. By the way, this was the longest trip I've ever taken to Primary too (felt that way)

She was a sight for sore eyes upon arrival. She had obviously vomited several times on the ride because her face was covered in blood. I can only imagine what people were thinking as we walked through the ER to head up to the medical unit, visions of horrific accidents, because yeah, she looked that bad.

As you can see, things have not gotten much better. Though she did finally stop vomiting around 6 am, we had even bigger problems with her breathing. Like not being able to move air through her airway at all when sleeping, which she's been sleeping all day.

Things looked a little brighter later when she finally came to

 Probably the best taste she's had in her mouth in the last 2 days, that pink oral cleansing sponge that she's so fond of. Really, chows down on it like it's candy

But now we're here in the PICU looking at possibly putting her on c-pap or by-pap breathing machine

So, just let me say that life sucks right now! I hate seeing my girl suffer more than anything, and I just want a magic wand to make this all better. Oh, and her surgery will be rescheduled for the third time... you know, the one that will inevitably fix all of this. 

Frustrated, wish I could make my baby better and get some more sleep.

Truly yours

The good first (Our President's Day weekend)

We all enjoyed the 3 day weekend as a family, just having fun, which we all really needed.

First, we took Em to her first ever movie at the theaters to see Tangled. To say the least, she loved it!

 Daddy and Em

 Mommy and Em, and yes we're sporting matching headbands! A wonderful mother to a little girl in my afternoon class made them for us. And just so you know, it is the coolest to match with your 3 year old! And the shirt Em is wearing is courtesy of the Griffin Family (we love it!)

Next, we finished off with dinner at Texas Roadhouse *yum* and FYI- they have the best roles in the world!

Em enjoyed her crackers, coloring and all the attention she got!

And you want to hear the next best part to the whole outing?? It only cost us about $15 thanks to some gift cards we got at Christmas time. First best thing was being together of course :)

Hope you all had a great 3 day weekend too!

Happy 21st Birthday to my sweet Bre!

Today would have been my sweet little sister's 21st birthday. I have no idea what life would have been for her. A number of things come to mind, maybe nearing her college graduation? Engaged, or perhaps already married? Preparing to go on an LDS mission? Or maybe just the life of the party ;)

No matter what life would have had in store for her at this time in her life, I have no doubt that she would be great at whatever she did.

So Happy Birthday Breanne! I'm going to celebrate for you today, and hope that you'll be there in spirit!

Love you!

To see some of the other posts I've done for my sister:

Last year's birthday post and video and picture slideshows

September 13th, 2010 post (date she died)

And enjoy a few pictures of Breanne celebrating life, to which she was an expert!

 Birthdate (February 22, 1990)

 Making mischief at grandma's house (who didn't?) 1 year

1st Birthday

 Finding an egg all by herself (1 year)

 Probably my favorite picture of her, she so loved stealing mom or dad's coke (even if it was bigger than she was) 2 years

 In the ballpit at Chuck E Cheese for my birthday party (91, so would have been my 8th birthday) 2 years

 Loved her puppies (even if they didn't love being around her ;) ) 3 years

Facing her fear by posing for a picture with this guy (and yes that is Mark Eaton of the Jazz) 4 years

Happy Birthday Sis, love you, miss you

Our Valentine's Day *Peters' Style*

Valentine's Day was a little more fun this year than in the past.

Here was Em's gifts she woke up to that morning

Cutest heart shoes and shirt ever! And yes that is a "love skunk" that says "love stinks" not that love stinks from Em, but it was funny in other ways ;)

And wearing her gifts

 Other Valentine puppies from grandparents :)

Can this girl get any cuter??

Steve and I waited to give each other our gifts until after work

 His gift to me? As you can see, it's a "surf and turf" dinner! The guy doesn't even like any kind of seafood, yet he made the lobster perfect! He even tried a bite or two before giving the rest to me ;)

 My gift to him? A couples massage and this heart that simply says I win

Yes, it's always been a competition with us to say we love the other one more (even before we were saying "I love you" it was "I miss you more" when I was in Europe). I also had this engraved in his ring for our anniversary, and now that it's been said in chocolate, I think I win ;)

Hope you all had as nice of a Valentine's Day!

Remembering Brooks

Today, February 8th marks the 8th anniversary since my beloved cousin Brooks Lee Adams was taken from us.

Brooks was more than a cousin to me, more like a brother. Our families were very close, went on vacations together, traded off practically living at one another's homes, even shared actual houses ;) Went to the same schools, had inside jokes, and most of my fondest memories are with him and his family. 

A few of the best ways I like to remember Brooks:

He was small, but his personality was bigger than life

No one could come up with witty remarks as fast as Brooks

Life was very dull without Brooks

He made every family gathering worth going to

He had relationships with his family that anyone could be jealous of

And like my sister Breanne, I'm certain there's not a day that goes by that someone, somewhere doesn't think of him. And they probably smile when they do :)

My favorite memory of Brooks was when I was maybe 13, I spent the weekend with his family going boating at Deer Reservoir. My aunt Amy (Brooks' mom), cousin Lexi (his sister) and I all got a lot wetter than we anticipated! So, after boating we went shopping at the outlets for some new clothes, we needed everything down to underwear. Brooks was reluctantly tagging along with us, and as soon as we entered the "bra store" he immediately covered his eyes with his hands as tightly as he could, and did not remove them until we exited the store. This was Brooks' humor for you

Here's a few pictures of Brooks :)

 Probably my most favoritest picture of him ever! Just because it shows his personality so well!

 One of the many vacations we all went on together. This was Mazatlan Mexico, summer of '98

(back L to R: Alyssa (bestie to cousin Lexi), Lexi (cousin to me and Brooks' older sister), me; Bottom: Brooks and Cassidy (cousin to me and Brooks' younger sister)

Not the fondest of this picture of me, but it's the only one I know of taken of the two of us at school. 

Miss you Brooks!

And the party!

First things first, I would really like to thank all of you that donated to Chromosome 18 in Emarie's name for her birthday gift. The donations that we know of equaled over $100, which was our goal! Plus I know some of you said you donated online, and I didn't know what amount, so I know it was even more than that! Thank you SOo much from the bottom of our hearts!

Yes this make look a little out of season, it was taken after the last fundraisers in October. Just thought it was good enough to use again as a "Thank you"

Also, I would like to announce that there will be another fantastic fundraiser for Chromosome 18. It will be a 5k run organized by our wonderful friends and fellow Chromosome 18 family the Howe's .

A 5k is only about 3 miles and is fairly easy to do! It can even be walked if you are not a runner :)

Please visit the blog Jenny has set up just for this event and read Deakon's story. But be warned, you will need some tissues handy!

Deakon and Em "talking" at Em's second birthday party

Playing in the pool together at the Vegas annual Chromosome 18 conference summer of 2009

Showing Em and I how to work the toy he gave her for her birthday this year

We love Deakon and his family and are very excited to participate and help any way we can, we hope you all can help some way as well, either by participating, or spreading the word to those you know who would want to. They're even allowing for "spirit runners" for those who don't live in the area to register, but won't be there for the race (at least not physically) ;) Click on any one of the above photos to find out more information. 

Now, for some pictures of the party.

Since I already uploaded most of the pictures to Facebook, I'm only going to do a few of the "highlights" on here. You can click here to see the rest on Facebook (even if you don't have an account)

 Just waiting for her guests to arrive (FYI- everyone was late!)

 Gripped my shoulder like a vice, but was brave enough to touch Chuck's nose, if only for a nano-second!

 Em and Irelynd (my friend Kelly's little baby girl)

 Deak cruisin everywhere these days!

 Our little family

 Blowing out the candles (and that's wonderful Diane and her youngest)

 This one shows my mom and brothers, the brothers don't look too thrilled too be there (but they were ;)), but I love how happy and beautiful my mom looks in this one! Think I will frame and give it to her

 Quite possibly my fave from the day! That's Isaac (wonderful family we met at Costco around Christmas last year), Em's giving him a disdainful look because he asked if he could steal her for a bit.....

And he did.... and you know what?....

 She had a BLAST! Playing ski-ball here

 This is Morgan (Isaac's daughter), she and Em are the reasons our families connected, and I'm sure it wasn't by accident

Love this one of Em and Miles (my cousin Lexi's little boy), he is so cute with her!

 This was after everyone had left, and just daddy, Em and I had a little more fun. I love the "why did you sit me next to this character" look!

Just got these pictures today. This is the outfit Em wore to preschool today. Shirt courtesy of my friend Marci and her family. I'm told that Em now prefers yellow, which was so fitting coinciding on the day she wore this shirt! She picked everything yellow today, crayons, playdoh (or Floam, I guess it was) etc. If there's another color I love in a close second to red, it's yellow so she is definitely my daughter!

And if this picture doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't know what will!

Glad you partied in style Ms. Emarie!! We love you!!!