Confessions of an imperfect mother....

Play song, "Get it Right" with this post

So I would just like to lay some misconceptions to rest once and for all!

I am not amazing, I am not incredible, or anything else. No one should be jealous of the mother that I am, because really lately, I've been awful. And if I hear one more person say, "I don't know how you do it all!" I think that someone's gonna get hurt! Because the reality is, I don't do it all, not even close!

Here's a few reasons why:

I did not digest some recent bad news very well. I didn't necessarily break down, but after receiving the info that Em will have to have yet another hip surgery... what? I did blast mine and Em's two favorite songs from Maroon 5 (Sunday Morning and This Love) and sing at the top of my lungs and dance silly with Emarie laughing and following along in her car seat all the way home in horribly heavy traffic. I'm sure it wasn't unnoticed by my fellow commuters either. But it's enough to say that I thought when I wrote these posts, I didn't think I'd need them for reference for us again.

Letting Tangled be a babysitter for another. And yes, I can't believe I'm going to say, but I let my daughter *who's only 3 mind you* stay up past midnight watching Tangled for I'm not sure, but I'm going to say it was her 5th time that day.

My house is horrible... really. Sadly, thanks to the people who wanted to see it, that is probably the only reason that Em and Steve will have clean clothes now (I can go awhile before needing laundry done... girl thing I guess... and yeah I know Em's a girl, but she's still in the stage where she pukes, pees and does whatever else to her clothes constantly!)

I will attest to the fact that I have been busy with work, which is the reason my regular motherly chores have been neglected. Bringing work home and such. But I have to say that I helped my kiddos make some kick-butt Mother's Day gifts this year!! And I already got an email and a message on my classroom phone (yes I was there working today) telling me how much they loved the pictures and "handmade kid frames" made me glad to know they were appreciated :)

I also made the clear cut decision that I can no longer handle being a full-time working mother to a child with special needs. Just can't do it anymore. Kind of a slap in the face to know that even when you're giving you're best, it's still not good enough.... so, it's there that you have to come to the conclusion that it probably never will be enough, and that's when you need to be done. So I quit my job.... well sorta. I'll still be there next year, just significantly less hours, and different things than teaching. I will for sure be testing new referrals, as well as Title One kids with concerns. I will be in charge of artic screening (pre-test for speech), office help when needed, and possibly be head of the preschool website- which will mean going to all the events and photographing.

I will say that I haven't been completely bad, and maybe can rectify scraping together a deserving mother for Mother's Day reward *whoa, did that make sense? to anyone?*

I've enjoyed the fact that it's finally sandal weather (wahoo! over 80 degrees today *Saturday*! now that's May!)

But we're still staying on guard, because it has been on record that it has snowed in June in Utah (oh wait, yeah that was only last year)

I also helped design this shirt for Em and all her other buddies missing DNA ;)

In case you can't read it, it says: "Having all your chromosomes is highly overrated, because really I couldn't get any cuter!" And I know this picture would otherwise say, but Em really did have a good time today ;)

Want one?? Go Here

And we have enjoyed nice walks to the park.....

Where we were surprised by little girls with furry bunnies

Swinging is always great!

Even better with daddy!

Yeah this was right before she fell out of his lap.... just kidding, but almost. Just wanted to get the spotlight off me for a sec.... oh didn't work? Oh well, worth a try ;)

Bubble blowing in the yard

She wasn't very happy when we told her it was time to go in... but thanks to Tangled, it wasn't so bad

I managed to come up with a pretty good gift for my mom for Mother's Day (it gets harder each year to top the last. As you should know from this post, this is what we did for her 2 years ago on Mother's Day, and it was quite the crowd pleaser. And 2 years before that was when we informed her she would become a grandmother... so you can see, hard). But I think I did pretty good this year.

Had this in a picture frame with a sculpture

In case you didn't know, that is my sister Breanne to the right of Emarie Breanne. This picture of Breanne is over 20 years old!! Sadly Breanne passed away in a car accident over 16 years ago. I just love the technology of today! This was all Steve's artistry by the way, but totally my idea!

 Tonight (Saturday), we took my mom to dinner at Texas Roadhouse *love that place!*

And then after dinner, we tried to go home, but there were still people looking at our house... so we took an impromptu walk on the Provo River Trail. Shame we don't do this more often since it's a block from our house... literally!

 Yeah, I'm really lovin' the sandal weather!! And FYI, Em's shoes are 18 months and still WAY too big!!

When we were finally able to go home, Em helped make her gifts to all the "mother's" and grandmothers in her life

And yes those are finger print frames, capturing her most adorable school pictures :)

Well, that's that. I am not a perfect mother. I do love my girl though, and want her to experience many things... she just may have to do it in dirty clothes... well at least until June ;)

Happy Mother's Day anyway, hope all of the women I surround myself with (both physically and via internet) had an amazing Mother's Day worthy of your greatness (not perfect, but still great!)

Love,
The imperfect mother

P.S. This is my mom opening her gift today *priceless*

And yes she did tear up to see her granddaughter next to her daughter over 20 years apart.

Girls trip to Sedona!

Sorry, it's taken me so long to get anything about mine and Emarie's recent trip posted, you really have no idea how busy I've been!! But there is really only about a month left of school, and I've just got to hold on until then. But, I will tell you that I do have to move for a third time this school year from my classroom. Yes, they are demolishing more of the building, which leaves 6 of us teachers with no other choice than to move to a different building until construction is all said and done. So, I am one of those, and they are giving us sooo much time to move out.......NOT! I have to be completely moved out of my room by the morning of the 28th of May. But, here's the best part.....Guess when the last day of school is??? The 27th of May!! So, that's right, after we put kids on the bus that day around 3:40, we will then proceed to be working all night long to get this done! Sucks, I know, but what else can I do? I don't want to rock the boat when I'm so lucky to still have a job!

So, after that mess is all said and done, I will have just about 2 days before Emarie's big surgery. And believe me, I am really dreading this one! I have had several comments about how after 10 surgeries, we should really be pros by now. I just want to know, is that ever possible when you are a parent to be a pro at anything?? But, especially not this! Sure, it's very routine for us when she say, gets tubes replaced, or a prosthesis exchange, because really those ones happen all the time. But, I've talked to a couple parents, and this will be nothing like we've ever experienced before. The only thing that will even come close, will be her feet surgery, because there are a lot of similar techniques. Like, the use of an epidural, the numerous casts that weighed no less than 3 lbs (and that's a lot when she only weighed about 10 at the time!)! And that first night of horrific pain that I really hoped I would never have to witness my little girl go through again. But, this will be worse. Dr. Stotts said, "Much, much worse." Enough said, for me to know that I have a little less than a month and half to prepare for something pretty awful. So, sorry to bum you out, but sometimes a mom just needs to vent!

So now to cheer you up with some beautiful pictures from our wonderful trip to Sedona, Arizona.

Yes, it was just the girls, my mom, me and Emarie. It was wonderful, and just what we all needed. The weather was more perfect than we could have asked, with temps in the mid 80's, even reaching the 90's one (which got a little too hot, in my opinion!). So, we were able to go to the pool and get some sun, and were sorry to have to leave so soon!

No words necessary for the beauty of Sedona!

Just lounging at the pool!

My constantly happy girl!

The girls out shopping in downtown Sedona

Emarie became quite fond of this twirling statue, she would laugh so hard when the wind would blow them around!

Emarie in the pool, she just loves the water!!

Em and I sunbathing (nevermind those rolls, I'm still working on toning! And hoping to be completely where I want this summer!)

Emarie sneakily stealing my magazine!

Doesn't seem to mind that I caught her though!

This girl is really growing up........sniff, sniff

Posing in the dress Great-Grandma Andrews got her

Tried to get a picture of her sitting in front of the condo before we took off, but she wasn't really cooperating!

Grandma and Em at the restaurant in Flagstaff for one last meal before we really took off. Such beautiful smiles!

Conked out in the car! She lasted until Page. Which is pretty good, if I do say so myself!

We finally arrived home around 10 pm that night, and daddy had a surprise for Emarie..........

He worked tirelessly every night we were gone to finally finish her crib! So, Emarie officially has been sleeping in her crib ever since we got back! And don't worry, there is a front to it, Steve just hadn't put it on when we took this.

Sorry such a long post. But I did put all of the pics on Facebook, if you haven't gotten a chance to see them on there.