Number 15

*Play song, "Hero" with this post (I hate this song by the way, so I am still on the lookout for a better one!)

Well, number 15 was a doozy and I think we're going out with a bang. I say going out because, God willing this will probably be Emarie's last surgery for awhile.... what?! Life as we know it is going to be SOo different! She's not done completely by any means.... but as long as nothing crops up and surprises us (uhm like this surgery actually), then she should be done for a good 4-5 years! And of course there's probably still going to be the minor things like ear tube replacements (one pretty soon probably too), but those are not too big a deal.

This one was a doozy, because again we had some experiences that we've never had before. Not nearly as traumatic as number 12, but still scary to say the least. Complications that arose were before, during and after surgery. The before and during were mostly the hospital's oddities.... strange things on her charts like stating that she was allergic to plastic bags.... where did that come from?? And one of the nurses going over the procedure with us and adding in that Dr. Stotts would be doing some work on her right foot as well as her hips.... uhm, did we miss something?? Anyway, after talking to Dr. Stotts and having him reassure us that it was just the hips for today, we felt a lot better, and bid our girl goodbye in front of the purple doors. 

Now comes the complications during, and believe me as alarmed as you might be reading that, it was hard enough facing that there might be a problem.... relief when there wasn't actually a problem and annoyance that they still weren't getting things right! Let me explain... after we handed Em off to the anesthesiologist, we headed down the hallway to the surgery waiting area where we checked in with the desk attendant (an old friend, haha!) and then proceeded to take Em's stroller to the car and grab things like the computer, books and other things to keep ourselves occupied for what was supposed to be 4 hours. We were gone maybe 10 minutes tops, Steve headed back before me as I went to load myself up with some cold caffeine since I was working off of 2 hours of sleep from the night before. Well when I exited the elevator and saw Dr. Stotts in the hallway, I was a bit surprised which he could tell, and he reassured me that they just hadn't called him yet and he wasn't concerned since he was sure the anesthesiologist was still placing the epidural, and that he was heading there now. Then I entered back in the waiting room where I was stopped by the receptionist saying the OR had called for me while we were gone... yes panic, but I did keep my composure all the while thoughts were running through my head about breathing difficulties, difficulty with the epidural and a number of other things that could be going wrong! She gets them on the line and guess what it was.... 

A Question About Tape!!

Seriously??! 

Em is like me and has quite an intolerance to medical tape.... anything really causes both our skin to break down, but the worst is the plastic tape which causes swelling and rashing. But it's all over her records, and we go over this at least 3 times every time we come in for a surgery.... yet they're still asking me what's ok to use?? After I tell them tegaderm, mefix, any of the like, she says yes I saw those on here, but I just wanted to make sure! Ok thanks for freaking me out for nothing then!

And, that wasn't the only time they called either.... twice more about steri-strips. Wow! 

But anyway, after we got all of that out of the way, Dr. Stotts came in to see us a whole lot sooner than we expected! Surgery went great, he was really pleased with how the joints were looking, he did not need to fit her with a dreaded spica... and oh yeah he gave us these:

Those are the brackets and screws he took out from the last surgery. Infant sized, and I have to admit that they're a lot smaller than I expected. After seeing them in all of Em's x-rays it was a little weird! But anyway, she has all new hardware and he upgraded her to the toddler size ;) Whole surgery took only about 2 1/2 hours, so that was nice. Didn't have much of a wait for the surgery.... no, our real wait came in after....

So, it did seem like awhile after Dr. Stotts left before they were finally calling for "one parent of Emarie" and I made my way back to bed 11 in PACU.

 No cast, instead she has this wedge pillow strapped between her legs

Epidural site

Now, Em is not unaccustomed to having a long PACU stay, but usually it's due to O2 levels and pain control. We've never had a problem waking her before, and they were equally concerned over her low blood pressure. But the anesthesiologist wasn't worried, at first. But after 3 hours, he decided they may have to just turn the epidural off for awhile. They'd said that it's not uncommon for kids to have problems their first time on an epidural.... well, this isn't her first I assured them, it's her third.... yeah, my girl is four and has probably had more epidurals than most child-bearing aged women, she's beat her mom out at least! So, yes, they were all in agreement that they may need to back off the epidural. And at this point I was nearing a breakdown since I was worried over her not waking and now worried about what her pain was going to be like with them completely taking away the device that was numbing it all! They didn't remove the epidural though, just turned it off for a bit. But her nurse back there suggested that I switch places with Steve for a bit since accommodations back there are slim! So I went back to the waiting room to get Steve and show him where to go (I'm usually the one that goes to PACU and he meets us in recovery if it's same day or on our way to the floor if she's being admitted). And then I proceeded to the bathroom to have myself a good cry (sometimes you need it you know?!). When I had regained my composure and made myself presentable again, Judy (waiting room receptionist) was waiting for me outside the bathroom where she gave me the sweetest embrace and let me know how much she admires me, and what a strong and amazing mother I am... so much for gaining composure! She also ended with something to make me laugh, "And I better not see you guys for a long time!" Yeah, we're hoping too! Anyway, thanks to her and all my Facebook supporters, everything was made a bit easier.... so thank you to you all!

 Awake finally!

And not 20 or 30 minutes after I'd sat down, Steve was texting me letting me know Em was awake watching Sesame Street of course and they were getting ready to place her on the floor! And when I met up with them, it was a completely different girl than I had left in bed 11, and I'm so thankful! They had turned the epidural back on too, but at a lower dose this time. I think we got to the room by 5, which was more or less over 4 hours for her in the PACU.... longest yet!

On our way to our room!

Our great view from the room


Thankfully, the rest of the evening and night went as smoothly as we could have hoped. She has shown a little pain, but being such a valiant warrior. And the only moment of weakness I've felt since we've gotten to the room was in one such instance and she held her arms to me pleading with her eyes for her momma to pick her up and make it all better, and how awful it was when I had to tell her I couldn't hold her :( Cannot even describe how heart-wrenching this was... for both of us. You may wonder why I can't hold her.... well for one, she has no cast, which means there's only a bit of gauze and tape covering the places they just had opened up and slightest movements can cause her torments of pain. But also there is an absolute "no no" to hold her while her epidural is in.... which it will be in for at least a few days. So I will be counting down the hours when I can hold that sweet girl and make this all better :)

I know some have wondered why we count Emarie's surgeries. And I don't really feel the need to explain, because I don't think I should have to. But for one it is a good reference for me. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at this post when counting Em's history for procedures. Thanks to my counting, I know exactly when and exactly what was done for each. Also, I do it for her. I am not trying to brag or boast, because this is not something that should be bragged about. But I think she deserves some credit for all that she's been through. And that is why I count, and will continue to do so. 

We are not experts. That is simply impossible to achieve expertise when being faced with your child going through unimaginable pain. She is the hero in all of this... the warrior. She will forever be my hero and I will spend my life trying to be worthy to be her mother.