The Missing Piece

*Play song, "Elsewhere" with this post

I sometimes wonder, though I try not to, and it is not that often, but I can not help it... and I think most mothers of a child with a chromosome abnormality could identify.......  But, I wonder what life might be like for my sweet little girl if she had a complete pair of chromosome 18. What if that vital little piece of this most complex puzzle had never gone MIA...

I see her running and climbing and jumping... I see her in the dance class I always envisioned, twirling around on her perfect little feet.

I see her perfectly understanding everything around her and not having to struggle for 90% of what she's use to. 

I see her conversing as an almost 4 year old should, with us, her friends and anyone; and everyone understanding her perfectly, as she deserves.

I see her never being familiarized with the inside of a hospital room, or an ambulance. I see her not having scars from multiple surgeries and never having to endure as much pain as her body really never should have. 


I see her never feeling left out of anything, or forgotten, or ignored because she does not have a complete pair.

But, as I said that these moments are not very often, they also don't last long, because it doesn't take long before I remember that this is the way that she was sent to me, this is who she is. And really when it comes down to it, I wouldn't change anything about her, because simply put, 

she

is 

amazing

And I and everyone who loves her are better people simply because she exists. I only wish she didn't have to suffer so much... that I didn't have to worry about things like her having an allergic reaction simply from just walking into a room.

So, I admit something that is hard for me to admit, but I know she is my girl, and she is just the way she is supposed to be...

crooked
 feet
 and all.