Belonging

Play song, "Be Mine" with this post


I thought long and hard about how I would word this post. I didn’t want to make anyone feel bad, so please know that before reading.

Growing up, I didn’t always feel a sense of belonging anywhere. I think it comes with the territory of split families… new husbands, new wives, new kids. Its no one’s fault, or anyone’s specific doing, just couldn’t help feeling out of place a lot, or simply that I didn’t really belong. Relationships play a big role in this as well, and it’s sad to admit that I didn’t always have the best relationships with people in my family. I’m happy to say that I do now, and I am so grateful for that. But probably the person I had the best relationship with in my childhood is the one person I spent the least amount

of time with unfortunately. That would be my sister. She and I had an interesting bond that I can’t really describe, just was there and real. No one got me like she did, and I think that’s why I had such a hard time when she died. My small sense of belonging completely went away for a long time.

I am confident in where I belong now. That is with Steve, and of course Emarie. But, the feeling has definitely intensified in the last little while. Sometimes I feel the bond between Steve and I so strong that I’m amazed that anything could ever waiver it. The times that I can remember are so clear in my mind, like they were only moments ago. There are some personal moments, like waking up after a DNC and the first thing I saw were his eyes bearing into mine. I can’t even describe what I felt in that moment, but I remember before I fell asleep and thinking that I could never be happy again because of what was happening; and then waking up and seeing what was written on his face. He knew… he understood, it was like there was no one else but him, and somehow I knew it was going to be alright…. That he and I would get through this, because we had each other.

 Picture from when we were dating, the day before I moved to Germany

Engagement pics

Our wedding day

December 12, 2003

When I watch Steve and Emarie together, it’s magical. There’s really no better way to put that. No one puts a smile on her face like her dad. No matter what, there is no one suited better to be Emarie’s father. They say that when a woman becomes a mother, she just knows what to do without anyone telling her. Not this mom. But her dad, well let’s just say that he knew what to do, and everything I do well is because of him. I wish I could do more justice to everything that he is, but I don’t think I can. I just hope he knows how amazing he is in my eyes. I appreciate how hard he works for his family. For all the love he shows in his own way. Mostly for keeping it all together, even when I let it all fall apart. Something has to be said for a guy that will listen to the same track over and over again for his little girl…. And did I mention that track is from an N’Sync CD?

Taken after Em's most recent surgery. Seriously no one calms her better than her dad

He has stuck by me when a lot of people wouldn’t have. He puts up with a lot from me too….. did I mention I like to listen to the same songs too (hmmm, wonder where Em gets it?)? Though, I like to think that Maroon 5, Train and David Gray are a lot better than N’Sync!

 I owe a lot to him, and some I will never be able to pay back. Wherever he is, that’s where I belong. 

My belonging

Wonderful Father's

Play song, "Kind and Generous" with this post

Just thought I'd do a quick little post to honor all the father's that have blessed mine and my family's life.

We'll start with my father, Dwight Christie- What I love and appreciate about my dad, is his respectful nature and easy-going attitude. Thanks for being part of my existence and finally coming to the conclusion that I was your perfect child ;) Helps that I'm your only girl!

Now, my step-father, Mitchell Wilde- What I love and appreciate about my other dad, is his sense of humor, really his ability to make a joke out of almost any situation. Also, he treated me as his own even though he didn't have to, and now does the same for my daughter, his granddaughter. 

My grandpa Andrews (my mom's dad), Donald Andrews- I have some very fond childhood memories that include you. Thank you for being such a fun grandpa, reading the "Slug Book", being the cameraman for us to make up stories and silly antics. Also, for inspiring me to live a little healthier because I'm a little afraid that my grandpa may outlive me with his fit physique and disciplined diet ;)

My grandpa Christie (my dad's dad)- I didn't know you the best, though I really wish I had known you better. But from what I hear, and what I know of the man you raised as my dad, I know you must have been pretty incredible. See you someday on the other side :)

My grandpa Wilde (my step-father's dad), Robert Wilde- You've taught me that "true blue" is really the only way to be. That camping and fishing are standard ways of life, as well as golf (but not really my cup of tea). You also excepted me into your family without a second thought, and I am proud to be a part of the family that you raised. 

To my father-in-law, Stan Peters- Obviously the thing I am most grateful for from you, is your son. You may have been tough on him, but I know it was good. It taught him patience, respect and responsibility. Thank you. You are a good father and grandfather.

Steve's grandfather (his mom's dad), Richard Hunt- I did a tribute to this most amazing man on my last post.

Steve's other grandfather (his dad's dad), Leroy Peters, or "Grandpa Pete"- I've only met you a few times (he owns a trucking company based in Mexico), but you're always fun and generous around your family. Thanks for your posterity!

Happy Father's day to you all! Thank you for what you've done, continue to do and for what you mean to us! We love you!!

Steve, Alisha and Emarie

P.S. I know you all think I left someone out, but the most important father to me will be receiving his very own post just for him tomorrow :)

Saying goodbye to Macy :'(

Play song, "It's so Hard to Say Goodbye" with this post

This past weekend we drove the short 3 hour trip to Preston, Idaho (yes the home of Napoleon Dynamite), to say goodbye to our sweet dog for the past four years, Macy.

We hated to do it, but with the fate of where we're going to live hanging in the balance, and doubtfulness that we'll be able to find a place for rent that will allow pets.... let alone 55+ pound pets, it was for the best. And really, she is going to a good home.

It was a few weeks ago that I posted on Facebook that we needed to find a place for her, and I did get responses, just they were either too far away, or not serious enough. We really wanted her to go to someone we knew.... someone we knew would take care of her. But it wasn't happening, and we really needed to get her taken care of before Em's pending surgery (Friday) and our trip to the Chromosome 18 conference in a few weeks. So, we were going to post her on KSL (Utah's free online classified site), which we really didn't want to do, which is why it had been procrastinated. And I'm sure glad it was, because it wasn't a mere few days later that Steve's cousin's wife asked if we still had her. They wanted her. 

 Leah and her mom Sam came to get Macy

 These two will really miss each other. Em already does, and has been looking for Macy when we leave through the garage (we use to always say goodbye to Macy when we did this). We are making a vow to go visit her a lot!

 Leah checking out Macy's crate (she was really excited)

 Leah doesn't look too sure here, but I'm told she's rather enjoying her new dog

You have been a good dog Macy (really the best we've had, and we've had 3!), and we will really miss you. But we know you're going to enjoy life much more chasing around five kids, 2 other dogs, countless goats and horses on a farm. We love you!

*It has been decided, that even though we try (well really me), and we really want to be (again more me), we just aren't "dog people" (Steve's with me here though)*

After that, we just enjoyed the company of Steve's grandparents (his mom's parents). And really, this is where I'm leading into the first of my Father's Day posts this year.

Steve's grandfather is one of the most patient, kind, and selfless men I have ever met. You see, Steve's grandmother has been having a hard time remembering things lately and sometimes asks the same questions a lot. Not once during our stay did he ever seem annoyed, aggravated, or inpatient. In fact, each time she would ask that same question, he would answer her as if it was the first time. And even though he didn't feel very well during our stay, he was always the first to help his wife with getting a meal on the table, or anything at all really. I reflected this all back to Steve on our way home, and he just shrugged and said, "That's just how he is.... it's how he's always been". I know that Steve sees it as special though as well. You can just see and know how much that man loves his wife. It is powerful, and I am so honored that I have gotten to know him. And I know that Steve has inherited a lot of those qualities, and I am honored to be part of his family.

I am also grateful that Em is getting to spend time with her great-grandparents

 Great-grandpa Hunt

 Great-grandma Hunt

We're also glad Em gets to know their chickens ;)

 Em and I checking out the new baby chickens

Isn't this picture just worth a thousand words?!

And on a side note, I am really trying to get whatever it is I screwed up fixed, so that people may post comments on my blog posts! More than a few have expressed that they've been having problems, but I'm really trying to get it working, because I really miss the comments! But I may have found my key... random posts, rants and now historical site pictures are what's peaking the most comments, so there may be more of that to come.... haha, just kidding!

This is the Place State Park and welcoming Crystal to the family!

Play song, "We Are Family" with this post

Last Thursday (the 9th) my wonderful sister (Steve's sister, but I claim her too!) invited us to go to the wonderful Utah heritage place, conveniently named, This is the Place. Her work put on an event (she works for a social services type place), so we didn't have to pay either. They also did it last year, but we didn't plan on going since it was right when Em's hip surgery was supposed to be happening, but a lot of you know that she wound up in the hospital with influenza instead ;) So we missed out. We were glad to make it this year though, even though it was a bit cold and windy and rainy at first, it still ended up being a great day with family! Thanks Amber!!

Basically it is a place that they have set up to look like how Utah was when it was settled in. A lot of the buildings are the authentic ones too, just had to be moved.

I will try to be sparse with the pictures, because I took a ton that day!

 Em sitting on the train with her uncle Jeff (Steve's younger brother) and his wife to be Crystal (yes, we'll now have 2 Crystal/Kristal's in the family, but luckily they do spell it differently!)

 Just some cool looking houses on the train ride

 Em's cousin Isabel and their uncle Cory (Steve's youngest brother) on the train (she doesn't look like she's having fun at all does she?!)

Next few pictures are from Brigham Young's house (and this was his actual house moved there to this location, and renovated, but stayed as authentic as possible) :

Some cool pictures of Brigham's children and grandchildren 

 Coolest thing I saw there hands down! And we lucked out as the tour guide told us, it had just arrived the day before!

 This was the part of the house I found the creepiest. Housed the most valuable antiques in the whole place, so the whole room was off limits.

 Seriously creepy (I've heard before that this place is haunted)

 Donut stove, bet you've never seen that before! I certainly hadn't!

Another house we stopped in at:

Caught a cute one of Isa exploring!

 A lot of the places we had to park the strollers outside, I was so fortunate to not have to hold Em hardly at all! She is so loved by her aunts and uncles! This is her aunt Amber holding her

At the school house:

 Isa and Em trying out school in the 1800's :)

 Em was mostly fond of wiping off the chalkboard, didn't like holding the chalk (I don't blame her!)

 Isa, Kristal, Crystal and Jeff trying out the "Deseret Alphabet"

The teacher

 More wiping of the board

 My happy girl was NOT happy when she woke up that morning, but had herself a great time, like I knew she would!

 The soon to be newlyweds (on June 25th!), Crystal and Jeff! We are so happy for them, but aren't sure if we'll be able to make it to their wedding with it being in Seattle and so close to Em's next surgery (which is this Friday), but we're glad they're having a reception here in July!

 The all too real "welcoming committee" in the streets, with real gunshots. Em did not care for this, scared her and made her cry :( I guess with "normal hearing" it makes sense ;) Yeah, and if you didn't know that, it's what we found out at Em's last ENT appointment, that her hearing is considered in "normal range" :)

Pounding leather. Em had fun with this, and was very proud to show her little piece of work to daddy when we got home :)

On the train (Amber stayed off so she could snap pictures with my camera, thanks Amber!):

Crystal, Em and I

 Cory, Isabel and Kristal

 Going round the bend

 The conductor bringing us through the tunnel

Cute one of Isabel and Kristal :)

On the ship:

 Inside the bunker (not really made for adults to get in!)

 The cute cousins born only four days apart (though they were only due 2 days apart!)

 I started to head out with Em because I was getting claustrophobic... but Em pitched a fit, so I handed her back to Amber so she could stay where the fun was!

 It afforded me a few more cute pictures anyway :)

 Loved this house (the front was better, but you could only see it on the train, and as I mentioned, Amber had my camera)

Last picture of the day, Em in front of the biggest monument there. And yes, she had quite the load on her stroller! ;)

We sure had fun! Thanks again Amber!